Go Pump Yourself: They're dropping like flies

Go Pump Yourself

Sunday, July 17, 2005

They're dropping like flies

There are less and less people working shifts at the snack shop. My best work buddy, the homosexual is moving to the towing company we're affiliated with. That leaves two of us to juggle all the open shifts. FUCK THAT. I'm going to fuck them before they fuck me. Every day I work at that place I feel my IQ drop as my lungs fill with gasoline fumes.

I have to deal with the creepy, dirty mechanics telling me how long its been since they got laid - like I fucking care. I have to deal with creepy stupid customers that think I'm a fucking moron because I work in a gas station, so they repeat themselves three or fifteen times. The best move is when I have my back turned and they just start talking. I didn't know I had eyes painted onto the back of my head. That's one tattoo I should have known about. Then there are the assjacks that just walk in, stare at me, and throw their money down. I laugh at them, wait for them to get to the pump, and watch with glee as they angrily realize no gasoline is going into their car.

I'm fucking leaving this place. There are pros and cons of working at this shit hole and I will list them because I am so fed up.

  1. I can wear whatever I want, even if its a shirt with a demon that says lick my left boobie (not that I have a shirt like that but that's not the point)
  2. I can put in all my piercings
  3. I can have blue hair
  4. I can be as rude as I want to the assmonkey customers (and lately I've been really ffucking bad
  5. The work is not very difficult, a trained monkey in a diaper can do it
  6. It's cash, daily, in hand
  7. All the candy, gum and snapple I can dream of - for nada
  1. Its cash off the books, no medical, social security or disability benefits if I get injured on the job
  2. Everyone that thinks they are my "supervisor" is an assjockey.
  3. The customers think I'm dumber than birdshit because I work the cash register at a gas station
  4. I'm on my feet 99% of my shift
  5. I'm surrounded by junk food
  6. The assclown mechanics all want to fuck me, not because I'm attractive, but merely because I'm a female that they see for 8 hours a day
There are tons more cons, I'll come up with them eventually.


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