Go Pump Yourself

Go Pump Yourself

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Todays comic

Wednesday, September 07, 2005 - Flash Games - Flash Games

Monday, September 05, 2005

I'm ready for my closeup

Gas has become ridiculously expensive on the East Coast. I have a friend who's currently visiting California and I told him to be prepared for sticker shock over there even though we're fast catching up to them.

After the insane prices of Saturday, which were set by JN, has brother RN came in on Sunday and turned the prices back so we're on par with the Sunoco across the street. While there were tumbleweeds going across the station on Saturday,a nd the night cashier was outside playing golf to kill time, once we rolled the prices back on Sunday the place packed out. I was on my feet for a good three hours working the register.

Funny stupid customer incident from Sunday. The Coca-Cola machine is broken - there is a huge ass "OUT OF ORDER" sign written by me in three inch high letters taped to the front of the machine. Typical ignorant Russian comes in all arrogant, demands all singles for his ten dollar bill. I don't think anything of it and go back to watching whatever I was watching on television - or maybe I was staring at my cell phone waiting for it to ring. Either way, I wasn't watching Yuri put money into the BROKEN soda machine. Money goes in, no soda comes out.
Yuri: "hello miss why does this machine not work?"
Me: "Its out of order, didn't you see the sign?"
Yuri: "I want my money back, I lost the two dollars,"
Me: "You put that money in at your own risk, there's a sign on the machine,"
Yuri: "what if I wasn't paying attention to the sign?"
Me: "Oh, you mean like I"m not paying attention to you right now?"
Later on in the day a local news van pulled up and a cute Asian girl came out all friendly and bubbly. Of course, the horny mechanics ran right up to her and she explained that she was driving around my city speaking to gas station workers about the high prices. "I"ll be right back!!!" I yelled, as I ran to the bathroom, tripping over the compressor and a few tires in the process. I fixed my hair, put on makeup, grabbed a CD of my friends band, and ran back up front. The chick was gone. It turned out the real reason she was there was someone called her to say we were the highest priced gas station in the city. The mechanics told me not to talk to her. She then went and started interviewing our customers! Eventually the chased her away.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

You're kidding....

Regular Unleaded is $3.75 a gallon at my place. One of the mechanics told me that we're .25 cents a gallon higher than other ExxonMobil stations in our city. PRICE GOUGING. I work for crooks!!

One of the owners is convinced I'm stealing snack money which amounts to about $3 a shift- if that much. He was going beserk wondering where this money is going - and he's charging 25 cents a gallon more than legally allowed!???? What the fuck.

I giggled to myself as I rigged the snapple machine to dispense free juice.

The owners dad is still here. Last week he was going after me for something and I guess I had a scared dear in headlights look on my face. He reached over the counter, took my hand and said, "Do not worry, you have nothing to fear, I am like your Grandfather,"

When he walked out I turned to the gas guy and said, "He's not like my Grandfather, if he was he'd be taking a dirt nap right now,"

Monday, August 22, 2005


The woman who works the weekday 8-4 shift is on vacation this week. I reluctantly volunteered for the Monday shift, thinking that if I could deal with what's supposed to be the roughest day of the week, I can deal with anything.

It was a cakewalk.

well, maybe not a cakewalk. There was a period of about two hours where the phone did not stop ringing - all the calls were for JN. It was actually funny, at first it was,
"JN, line one..."
Put that call on hold, pick up the next blinking line, "Oh you're holding for JN, one moment," "JN lines one and two..."
Crap the phone's ringing, "JN? One moment," At one point over the PA I paged him, "JN EVERY BLINKING LINE IS FOR YOU!!"

It was no busier than a weekend Day shift. What the hell was I so worried about? At one point I felt like I was actually at a "real" job. The customers were a lot nicer during the day too, from about 8-10 it was cabbies and truck drivers going to work, with a few "regular" people filling up for the day. The elderly came during lunch time, along with some harried looking moms with Mini vans full of kids heading to the mall.

for the past two weeks, JN's father, EN has been around to keep an eye on things. At least, that's why he thinks he's' there. Five different times he walked into the snack shop, gestured to the stale candy and potato chips and said, "You must guard these items very much," with a thick Yiddish accent, "You must make sure no one is stealing these items," As soon as he left I threw a couple of Hershey Bars at the Tow truck drivers and told them to run.

Around 3 EN comes in, looks at me, who he's had contact with all day and says, "You are PumpMistress?" Actually he said my real name, more accurately he mis pronounced my real name, but I can't print that. So I said yes, tis I. "You were under on your last shift by 20 dollars, I saw the paperwork." I told him I left the bookkeeper a note that while I was under by 20, the next clerk was over by the EXACT same amount. He shook his head and muttered something about nose-rings when he trotted out.

At 3.30 a huge shipment of Candy arrived and I gleefully ran around with a box cutter randomly opening boxes and peeking inside with no intention of actually putting anything on the shelves.

Did I ever mentioned that I only took this job so I could afford to follow a rock band on tour - back in JUNE?? And I'm still here!!

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Quick Update

The Princess is always super nice to me when she sees me - I think I'm this close to her taking me for a mani and pedi. sigh.

Mr Douche didn't get fired, he had some goon come up from Florida to protect him - which only made him look like an even bigger pussy. Florida goon went back yesterday, Mr Douche's life will be a living hell even worse than it was - once my tow-truck driver buddies get a hold of him.

A girl who used to work at the snack shop years ago, that I used to be friends with, was loitering on the corner last night. I didn't care, I thought it was funny. She had that longing look in her eye like, "I wish I was still working in that shit box".

I actually only really worked for four out of my eight hours yesterday. Porkbutt, my friend who got me the job, was hanging with me so I put him to work. When He left, my friends Mutt and Jeff came to visit and I showed Mutt how to use the register while I smoked weed with the gas guy.

Back to work tomorrow. Originally I worked Friday nights, then Saturday afternoons but I switched and got my happy Sunday day shift back. WHoooo.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Joke for the day